You're Shameless Jack Barakat
by StayAwakeAmber
Summary: a prequel to my story Snake Bite Heart though you can read it before the other one and it will still make sense. Ronnie and Jacks history and his trajic past Feat. Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat, Zack Merrick and Rian Dawsom, All Time Low
1. death by popcorn

**Wanted to write a story about ATL before they were famous so her yah go!**

RONNIE

My phone rang waking me up from a deep sleep, groaning I reached over and picked it up.

'Hello?' I mumbled into the speaker.

_Hey Ron! _I smiled at the friendly voice _school starts tomorrow and it's our last week ever in school and the bands EP comes out so I thought we could just hang out today?_

'Sure Jack sounds great.' I said groggily

_Cool! Okay I better call Alex, Zack and Rian and tell them we are hanging. Whatcha want to do?_

My heart dropped to the floor, he was inviting Alex, Zack and Rian as well. I loved the guys they were my best friends but I seriously loved Jack but I would never pluck up the courage to tell him I liked him. It would just ruin our friendship 'cause I knew he didn't feel the same way about me.

'Dunno? Why don't you all just come to my place we can watch a movie or something? My parents are away for 2 weeks, we have the house to ourselves.'

_Okay cool, be there at 2?_

'Kay, see you then!' I said hanging up the phone.

JACK

I slumped back against my wall. Dammit! I thought to myself. I was going to try and get Ronnie alone but I chickened out. I really didn't want to scare her away, she was so out of my league, she had bright blonde which was layered the tips where dyed red, she had a long side fringe which fell across her forehead, her eyes were green and her smile has gorgeous. She had been my best friend my entire life, seriously we met in kindergarten and have been friends ever since. I chucked my phone on my bed heading for the shower. I washed my hair and brushed it into the best it was going to look. I looked at my watch, 1.30. I sighed, Ronnie wouldn't mind if I showed up early. So I headed out to my car and drove round to her house. I pulled into her drive way and walked up to her door.

RONNIE

The doorbell rang, I ran downstairs. I opened the door to see Jack.

'Hey, you're early.' I said opening the door for him to come inside.

'Yeah, sorry, I didn't really have anything to do.' He said walking in, smiling.

'Cool, so when will Alex, Zack and Rian be here?' I asked

'2, I think? They are picking up a movie on the way over.' He replied sitting down on my couch. Did he ever stop smiling? I grinned back at him, I'm pretty sure his smile is contagious.

'What are we going to watch?' I said sitting down next to him.

'I dunno? But knowing Zack he will convince Alex and Rian into a scary movie.' He said

I groaned, god I hated scary movies.

'Awwww.' said Jack 'Veronica no like scary movies?' he said in a baby voice. God he was so cute. I hated to be called Veronica, it was my full name. I shoved him and he laughed at me.

'Don't call me Veronica.' I said

'Don't worry Ronnie, I'll protect you from the monsters.' He said grinning at me playfully. He grabbed my head and pulled it into his chest protectively. I couldn't breathe, I hit him on the chest and he let go laughing. I smiled at the thought of him protecting me.

JACK

I sat on the couch with Ronnie and Rian was between us, Alex and Zack was sitting on the floor. I watched as the woman run through the house away from the killer.

"Hello? Who's there? What do you want?" she said. Yeah that's smart the murderer is just going to come out and say.

"Hey, it's me the murderer, I'm in the kitchen! I'm going to kill you now!"

I looked over to Ronnie who was twisting a strand of her hair through her fingers and I doubted she had actually watched any of the movie. Smiling, I got up and went into the kitchen taking the, now empty, popcorn bowl with me. I'd seen the movie before, and with horror it's all the same, there's no story line just people getting killed. I refilled the popcorn and decided I would have a little fun. Putting the popcorn down I crept back into the living room, no one noticed me they were all to engrossed in the movie. I slid behind the couch and listened to the music build up, there was a freaky bit coming up, just as the music was about to peak I jumped out from behind the couch and grabbed Ronnie on the shoulders.

'BLEEEEEHHHH!' I yelled at her.

She screamed and jumped up, spinning round, and seeing in was only me her face fell and she threw a pillow at me. Rian, Alex and Zack were rolling around laughing.

'Jack you scared the shit out of me!' she said

'Sorry Ron!' I said sniggering and strolled back into the kitchen to get the food. I came back in and Ronnie was sitting arms crossed on the couch fuming.

'Sorry?' I said handing her the food. She gave me a cold stare before taking it but she didn't eat any. She was so cute when she was angry, Rian had shuffled over so I sat in between him and Ronnie.

RONNIE

Jack sat down next to me. I leaned forward a bit letting my hair fall over my face, hiding my smile. Even though jack had just scared me to death he was sitting really close and I couldn't help but smile. I grabbed a hand full of popcorn, revenge. I paused a second before, in one swift movement, shoved it down the back of his shirt.

'Revenge!' I yelled jumping up from the couch and making a run for it.

Jack ran after me laughing throwing handfuls of popcorn. I was going to have to clean it up but that didn't really matter right now. I could hear Rian, Alex and Zack laughing from the living room. I ran into the hallway then pelted quickly up the stairs, I could hear Jack behind me and ran into my bedroom and shut the door in his face. I slid the lock shut and listened.

'Veronica…' I heard Jack say 'come out, I promise I want throw popcorn at you.'

'NEVER!' I yelled through the door laughing

'Fine, but you made me do it.' Jack said slyly I wondered what he was doing. I looked down and the door knob and saw the lock turning back open. Shit, he was opening it from the other side. The door burst open and Rian, Zack, Alex and Jack were all there. They started to completely pelt me with popcorn.

'Okay! I SURRENER!' I yelled as I fell on the floor and curled into a ball trying to protect myself, as they had started to throw the seeds that you always got at the bottom that didn't pop and that really hurt.

'Hey guys we better go.' Said Zack to Rian and Alex.

'Yeah, see you guys tomorrow.' Said Rian, they left my room and I heard the front door shut.

JACK

I walked over to Ronnie who was still lying on the floor. I held out a hand to help her up. She smiled and took it as I pulled her to her feet. Wow, she was unbelievably light. I had to tell her about me liking her, she was my best friend. You weren't supposed to keep secrets from your best friend?

'Hey Ronnie, could I talk to you about something?' I said, oh well no turning back now.

'Sure Jacko.'she said sitting down on her bed, I sat next to her.

'Ronnie, I like you, a lot. Not just in the friend way and I know that we are friends and nothing will probably ever happen I just had to tell you...' I stopped myself, I wish I hadn't said anything.

RONNIE

Was this really happening, any second now I would wake up and it would all be a dream? Well if it was a dream there was no harm in.. I reached up to Jacks face he was staring at the floor boards blushing like crazy. I put my hand against his face and pulled it up so I could see him. I don't really know what made me do what I did next but I leaned over and kissed him. He seemed really surprised but didn't complain. It was then I realised that I wasn't dreaming and I quickly deepened the kiss, my hands snaking up into his hair, tangling my fingers in the spikes in the back. His arms wrapped around me pulling me into him, we sat there for about a minute before someone said anything. I pulled away slightly resting my forehead on his.

'I kind of like you too.' I said winking at him slightly out of breath. He grinned at me. Before I crashed my lips into his again, if you have ever loved someone for a while who was your best friend, all your feeling toward them sorta come out all at once?


	2. Showing off

**JACK**

I sat on the couch, my arm was around Ronnie. She was curled into a ball with her head on my chest. She had fallen asleep about 10 minutes ago. I looked down at her, she was breathing lightly and her hair was falling over her face slightly. I got up, being careful I didn't wake her. I jogged quietly upstairs to her bedroom and took the duvet from her bed, I wandered back down stairs and covered her with it. I leaned down and kissed her temple. I texted my mom to say I was spending the night at Ronnie's. I walked over to the other couch and went to sleep.

**RONNIE**

I woke up, I sat up on my living room couch. I was covered in the duvet from my bed. I started to mull over the events of the night before. I smiled, I looked over and Jack was asleep on my couch. I went into the kitchen to investigate the food situation. We had a few strawberries and half a pack of pancake mix. I needed to go shopping. I pulled them out and started to make strawberry pancakes.

'Morning.' Jack said behind me, I turned around. He looked so cute. His hair was messed up and sticking up all over the place. His brown eyes were half closed and he barely looked awake.

'Morning.' I said smiling at him.

I turned back to the pancakes flipping them over and then putting them on a plate. Jack was sitting at the bar in the kitchen. I put the plate in front of him, his eyes lit up and he dug in. laughing at him I grabbed and apple out of the fridge, I rarely ate breakfast. I was just never hungry in the morning. I was kind of thin because of it but I didn't mind. I had an eating disorder for 3 years, since I was 12. I'm better now. I guess I just haven't kicked some of my bad habits, like skipping breakfast. No one knew I was anorexic, I wore baggy clothes. My mom found out though and took me to therapy.

'Hey Jack we should probably go, we need to get your bag before school.' I said, he pouted. I laughed

'Come on, it's our last week of school! Cheer up' I said 'anyway, you get to show off your new girlfriend.'

'he smiled and crammed the rest of the pancakes in his mouth.

'Right!' he said 'I'll show them I can get a girl who is way out of my league.' He grabbed my hand and we headed to school. I grabbed my Blink school bag on the way out.

**JACK**

I drove us to school, today was going to be great. I pulled into the school car park and found and empty spot. We got out of the car and I took her hand. Smiling we walked through the front door. All around us people were whispering "are they a couple." We walked to my locker and I pulled a couple of my textbooks out. Alex walked up with Rian and Zack.

'Hey' he said 'people are saying you guys are together now?' he stopped and looked down at our hands. He smiled.

'Nice one Jack!' he said

**RONNIE**

I blushed at Alex, The bell rang.

'I'll see you later.' I said I pushed up onto my toes and kissed his cheek, god, he was tall. I walked off to my class with Alex. Who was smiling like a kid.

'Soooo' he said smiling 'you and Jack huh?'

'Yeah?' I said laughing at him. I am a weird girl, trust me I have no "girl" friends. All my friends are boys. They were a lot easier and fun to be with.

The rest of the day was a blur, between being yelled at for doing the wrong thing in maths and have people, and by that I mean girls, ask about me and Jack constantly I barely made it out alive. I was walking home that night when Jacks car pulled up next to me. Alex rolled down the window.

'Hey Ron, feel like sitting in on our band practise today?' I grinned, I had never heard them play before. Sure I had heard 'Put up or Shut up' I practically knew it inside out but I had never heard them actually play before. I slid into the back seat beside Zack and Rian and we headed for Rian's house.

XXXXXXXX

'Mom, I'm home!' Rian yelled as we entered his house. 'Bands here, we are going to go down stairs and practise' Rian's mom walked in to the hallway.

'Okay honey.' She said 'you boys want anything. Oh, hello.' She said to me, I had only ever met Jacks parents and that's because I've known him my whole life.

'Oh right, mom this is Ronnie' Rian said

'Ah, you're the famous Ronnie. It's nice to meet you honey' she said and I shook her hand

'Nice to meet you too.' I said with a smile.

We headed down stairs, Rian's garage was filled with a drum set various amps and a microphone. Jack, Alex and Zack all pulled out their guitars and started to set up. I walked over and sat down on a scruffy loveseat. I pulled my legs up and hugged my knees. I don't know why but I always sat like this, it was just comfy. The guys played a bunch of songs, they were amazing, I sat there for 3 hours and just listened to their music.

ALEX

Ronnie just sat and listened as we played through our set. We got to the last song Jasey Rae. I knew that Ronnie could sing and she played guitar a little, a plan came to me.

'Hey Ronnie? Do you know the words to Jasey Rae?'

'Yeah?'

'Can you play it on guitar?' I said

'Uh, yeah I think so.'

'Come on then!' I said pulling my guitar off my shoulder and handing it to her.

'Uh, I'd rather not.' She said blushing

'Come on!' I said pushing her in front of the mic.

'Uh fine.' She said awkwardly. Jack began to play the intro and everyone joined. Ronnie began to play, she was flawless.

'Lights out, I still hear the rain, These images that fill my head, Now keep my fingers from making mistakes, Tell my voice what it takes, To speak up, Speak up, and keep my conscience clean when I wake.' She sang.

Her voice was beautiful she sounded like a mix between Hayley Williams and Amy Lee. She lost her self in the song, her hands moved into the chords and she didn't once look down. She finished and she was slightly out of breath.


	3. broken memories and broken ankles

**RONNIE**

Jack drove me home.

'Ronnie, I never knew you could sing like that?' he said as I turned the key in the door. I smiled at him.

'Neither did I really.' I said, it was true, I rarely sung in front of people. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' I said getting up on my tip toes I kissed him briefly before going inside.

It was lonely here. My mom and step dad had gone away on their honeymoon. They said I could have the house to myself and no parties. I could have friends over if I got lonely, they left me money for food and shit. My mom wanted to skype everynight so I sat down on my couch and opened my laptop. She was online and within 5 seconds she wanted to video chat.

'Hey mom.' I said smiling at her familiar face.

_Hey honey, how are you?_

I'm great actually.

_Why are you great?_

I went to see Jacks band play, they are really good.

_That's nice sweetie, have you had Jack over while we are away?_

Yeah he came over last night.

_What did you do?_

Watched a movie, Mom, can I tell you something

_Yeah sure what's up honey?_

Me and Jack have started to date.

_Really honey? That's great. I like Jack he's a nice boy. When did that happen?_

Last night, I dunno how it happened really, it just did.

_Well I have to go Honey, I'll talk to you later_

Bye mom.

I shut my laptop over and switched on the TV, my duvet was still here so I pulled it over me and quickly fell asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I felt a piece of paper hit me in the back of the head. I looked up from my biology work. I reached down and picked the paper of the floor. I opened it out trying not to make any noise. It was a flyer for a pop punk band who were looking for a female front singer, '_auditions today from 4-6pm' _**you should go!** Was scrawled across the page in Jacks messy hand writing. I smiled and wrote. _If I do, will you spend tonight at my place? _I threw it back at him while the teacher wasn't looking. He opened it, looked up at me and nodded.

XXXXXXXXXXX

I knocked on the door of the address on the flyer. A guy who looked about the same age as me answered the door, he had messy brown hair and blue eyes.

'Hey, I'm Ronnie, I'm here for the audition thing.' I said to him

'Cool, hey Ronnie I'm Jake, come in' he said opening the door.

He led me into his garage, there was a table and a mic, there were two guys and a girl sitting at the table, I'm guessing they were the rest of the band.

'Guys this is Ronnie.' Jake said 'Ronnie this is Ash, she plays bass' he said pointing to the girl. She had bleached blonde hair with blue tips and chocolate eyes. 'Andy, guitar.' He had black hair that fell messily over his face. 'and JJ, he's the drummer' he said the band stood up and went over to their instruments.

'Do you know bring me to life?' I said awkwardly

'Yeah, we practice that one a lot.' Said Ash smiling, playing a few random notes on her bass.

I wandered over to the mic, suddenly feeling really nervous. I cleared my throat and began to sing Bring me To Life. The band started to play in the back ground and I completely lost myself in the song.

**JACK **

I sat biting my thumb nail. I was sitting in my living room, my mom was going on about homework and how I had to study more, my dad was probably out at bar, drunk. I still hadn't told her about me and Ronnie.

'Mom.' I said suddenly stopping her mid-sentence 'I have a girlfriend.' I said abruptly

Hailey turned around and looked at me, the bruise on her face dad had given the night before was covered in makeup. I wish I had been there to protect her.

'Really? What's her name sweetie?' my mom said, the dark circles under her eyes showing.

'It's Ronnie' I said awkwardly. My mom's face split into a grin, she loved Ronnie. Our parents, well my mom and her parents. Had been friends for years, that's how I knew her.

'Jack and Ronnie sitting in a tree.' Hailey said immaturely, she was 15.

'Shut up.' I said laughing at her

The doorbell rang, my mom got up to answer it

'Hey, Ronnie sweetie.' I heard my mom say I made a dash for the door. My mom saw me and smirking went back into the living room.

'Hey Ron, what's up?'

'I got the singer part!' she said excitedly throwing her arms around my neck. I hugged her back, laughing. I didn't even care that my mom and Hails were watching us.

'You have to keep your side of the deal too.' She whispered in my ear. I grinned and she pulled away.

'Would you like to stay for a while Ronnie?' my mom's voice said from behind me.

'Uh, no thanks Mrs Barakat. I best be getting home' she said blushing

'Ronnie, I've known you since you were in diapers, just because you're dating Jack now doesn't mean you need to call me Mrs Barakat.' She said smiling at her.

'Right, sorry. I'll see you tomorrow Jack.' She said, I frowned was she taking back what she had said. She winked at me and closed the door. About 15 seconds later my phone buzzed. I pulled it out. _Tell your parents you are going to Alex's, be at my house in half an hour ;) xx _I smiled at the text.

'Mom could I spend the night at Alex's' I called

'Sure sweetie, but take your school bag.' She called back

I grabbed my bag and walked to Ronnie's

_cover me bro, spending tonight at Ron's and said I was going to yours. _I texted Alex.

_Got ur back! ;) _he replied.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

RONNIE

Me and Jack stayed up all night just talking, and kissing. We talked about music and family and our past. I wanted to tell him.

'Jack?' I said lying against his chest, playing with the hem of his shirt. 'can I tell you something?'

'Sure Ron, you can tell me anything.' he said.

'Okay, just promise you won't freak out, and now that I'm okay now and it's all in my past' I said looking up and him.

'Promise.' He said carefully.

'Okay, uh. Well. Jack, I had an eating disorder.' I said his mouth opened slightly before closing it again. 'I'm better now, trust me. I just needed you to know and understand. i got it because I hated myself really. My parents had just got divorced and I blamed myself, I hated it, thought I was ugly. I was so depressed I didn't eat. My mom walked in when I was in the shower one day and saw how thin I was. You could practically play the xylophone on my rib cage. She took me to therapy. I am better, I swear' There was a silence in my room. Jack took my face in his hands and pulled my lips to his.

'You will always be beautiful to me.' he said. Smiling I wrapped my arms around him, I never wanted to let go. I fell asleep in him arms.

I woke up in Jacks arms I turned my head up to look at him to find him awake already and looking down at me. I smiled, I got up to inspect our food. Still none.

'Hey Jack I'm going to see if there's any food in the fridge in the garage.' I called heading out the door. I walked along the path in my garden and past my pool. I didn't notice the pool hose on the ground. I walked over it and slipped, it twisted around my foot. I heard my ankle crack and a burning hot pain shot down my leg, I fell backward and, letting of a scream, fell into the pool. The water was rushing in my ears, I couldn't move my ankle was in so much pain it hurt to move it an inch. I couldn't see, I got disorientated, which way was the surface? The water poured into my mouth and I gave up, letting the blackness fall over me.

JACK

I had to tell her about my parents, my dad was always never home and when he was he beating me, Hailey or mum mom. They were constantly fighting and my mom seemed depressed I was torn away from my thoughts by a loud scream. I ran into the garden, she was nowhere. I ran along the path and caught sight of blood across the side of the pool. I looked over and saw a dark shape with platinum hair floating in the pool.

'SHIT!' I screamed and ran in after her. I pulled her out and dropped her on the side of the pool before pulling myself out, leaning over her, I hit her hard on the chest once and water spurted out her mouth and she began to cough.

RONNIE

Death was so peaceful, but it's selfish. I forgot all the ones who loved me and I gave up. I felt something hit me and there was suddenly light in my eyes. I began coughing I looked up and Jack was staring down at me with half sad half relieved eyes. He pulled me into his arms, I wrapped my arms around him, so scared about what had just happened to even talk. I looked and my ankle over his shoulder and I flinched. It was distorted, sticking over the wrong way slightly with a lump where a bone was sticking into my skin. The pain caught up with me then and I screamed.

'Ronnie, what is it?' he said pulling away from me. I pulled my ankle into me, the pain temporarily taking my voice.

'Fuck, we have to get you to a hospital.' He said, he scooped me up of the ground into his arms and half ran to his car. He dropped my still soaking body in the back seat and climbed into the driver's seat.

JACK

I drove as fast as I could to the hospital, she sat groaning in pain in the back seat. I was completely soaked but I didn't care. I pulled into the hospital, she was losing consciousness.

'Come on Ronnie, Stay awake!' I said as I picked her up into my arms and kicked the door shut. I walked through the front doors of A&E people turned around to see us, letting out small gasps when they caught sight of Ronnie's ankle.

'Hey, uh we need to see a doctor.' I said to the person behind the counter.

She looked up from the computer her mouth opened slightly before she talked.

'Sure honey, wow that looks bad, I'll get a doctor to see you right away, take a seat, I'll be back in two minutes!' she said running off down the hall.

I walked over to the plastic seated waiting area. Everyone was staring at us, well we were soaking wet, I was carrying a half conscious teenage girl whose ankle was sticking the wrong way. I sat down on the chair and pulled Ronnie on my lap. She seemed to be regaining consciousness; she was gripping the front of my t shirt.

'Jack?' she mumbled before wincing.

'Shh, yes it's me Ronnie.' I said stroking her matted, dripping wet hair.

The woman sitting next to me shot me a sympathetic smile, people were whispering about us

'I'm sure she will be ok dear. What happened to her?' said the old woman sitting with a child with a large bad cut across his hand which had an ice pack on it.

'She fell into the pool, I think she broke her ankle, she wasn't breathing when I took her out but..' I was close to tears, but I babbled to a complete stranger.

'Don't worry she will be fine..' she said aiming for me to tell her my name.

'Jack.' I finished for her 'This is Ronnie.'

Ronnie opened her eyes at the mention of her name. She smiled weakly at the woman before closing them again.

'Nice to meet you dear, I'm Marge, this is my grandson James'

The receptionist returned with a doctor with her, He smiled at us.

'Okay, could you please hand me..' he said motioning for me to pass Ronnie to him

'Ronnie.' I finished for him letting her slip gently into him arms. She groaned quietly at the sudden movement.


	4. its falling apart at the seams

**Hey guys! I'm working really hard on the rest of the chapters! Review it and I'll put up the next chapter soon!**

I sat waiting with a towel across my shoulders, they had given me it while Ron was being x-rayed. They were putting a cast on Ronnie, she had broken her ankle in 2 places and was going to be in a cast for 6 weeks. She emerged from the room, she had one of those massive plastic casts which meant she could sort of walk without crutches. She hobbled over to me smiling weakly. I pulled her into a gentle hug.

'You scared the shit out of me.' I said to her

'Okay if I could just take your details.' The nurse said leading us back into the reception area.

I slipped my hand into Ronnie's and she smiled. There were still a couple of people who were there when we came in. Marge sat with James quietly asleep on her shoulder. She looked up and smiled seeing Ronnie on her feet. We had both dried but we looked a total mess, Ronnie's hair was sticking up all over the place and was curly, matted and tangled but as usual she still looked amazing. She started to write her details on the clip board the nurse had given her.

'I'll be one second.' I said to Ronnie dropping her hand and walking over to Marge.

'Hello dear, I see Ronnie is better, how's her ankle, was it broken?'

'Yeah, she's going to be fine, she broke it in two places but she will be out of the cast in six weeks' I said, she was such a nice woman.

My phone beeped and I pulled it out of my pocket. 5 missed calls from my mom and texts from Hailey and Alex. I forgot I was supposed to be at band practice an hour ago. I had also missed the last day of school, my graduation and not come home that night.

'Jack?' said Ronnie walking up behind me.

'Hey,' I said opening all the messages.

Alex- Hey man, where are you and Ronnie? you weren't at school and ur parents are shitting themselves!

Hailey-Jack! Where are you? Mom is going crazy, dad's home and he's so angry u missed school. we tried calling Ronnie but she is not picking up.

I called my mom.

_JACK! Where are you? _

'Mom calm down I'm fine, I'm at the hospital.'

_What? Why? _

'Ronnie nearly drowned and snapped her ankle in two places.'

_What? Oh Jack, you had me worried sick! How is Ronnie doing?_

'She's fine, we will be home soon, we are leaving now.'

_Okay Jack, don't do that to me again!_

'I know mom I'm really sorry, but I was so scared. I didn't really think about it.'

_Oh Jack, as long as you and Ronnie are ok._

'We are fine I'll see you in 15 minutes.' I said hanging up, sighing.

'It was lovely to meet you but we better go.' I said to Marge who smiled and nodded.

I took Ronnie's hand and walked, slowly, back out to the car. I opened the door for her, she smiled and slid into the front seat. I walked around to the driver's seat and I drove back to my place. I walked up to my front door and I opened it, Ronnie walked in behind me looking nervous.

'Mom?' I called closing the door.

'Jack?' mom said walking in form the living room, my dad behind her, he looked kind of sober. My mom threw her arms around me.

'You had me so worried!' she said.

Hailey came down stairs, she had probably been hiding in our room, trying to stay away from their fighting. She hugged me quickly before slipping behind me. My dad took a step forward and I pushed Hailey behind me more, he wasn't going to hurt her.

'What the hell is wrong with you? You stupid boy! Didn't you know how worried you mom would be? You worried her so much and over this stupid girl!' he yelled pointing at Ronnie.

'Don't call her stupid' I growled at my dad 'and don't act for a second like you give a shit about mom!' I continued starting to yell. I didn't want Ronnie to find out about him like this.

'Why not? She was stupid enough to like you and I do care about your mother!' he snapped back

'Oh really? Then why do you go out and get pissed every night and come back to beat her up' I shouted, I knew he was about to punch me but instead he hit Ronnie right across the face, she screamed and fell on the floor.

'CHRIS!' my mom screamed at my dad.

'How dare you touch her!' I yelled at him before punching him straight on the nose. He fell to the ground looking completely dazed. I had never hit him before. I helped Ronnie to her feet she was crying but I don't think it was because of the punch. I pulled her into my arms.

'I'm so sorry.' I said to her

My dad got up looking completely pissed and walked out slamming the door shut behind him, we heard the car drive away. We stood there in silence for a minute.

'I better take you home.' I said to Ronnie, she nodded and we headed out to the car.

I saw my mom heading up to her bedroom before I shut the door behind us. The car ride home was silent, Ronnie was staring out the window, a slight frown on her perfect face. I guess I was an idiot to think she would ever like me when she found out about my broken family. I walked her up to her front door, she turned the key in the door and turned round to me. This was it, she was going to break up with my sorry ass.

'Ronnie, I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to find out like this. I was going to tell you but you broke you ankle and-' I was cut off because she had pushed her lips on mine.

RONNIE

I never knew about Jacks family. It thought he was just a normal kid with two parents and a little sister, I couldn't be more wrong. He was amazing, and even though his dad just hit me, I still loved him. I don't think I have ever loved anyone so much. I can't believe I cried though, I was so shocked, I cried because every day he put on a brave face and acted like a dick, he was funny and people liked him but no one knew anything past that. He started to babble so I just kissed him. I never wanted to lose him.

'Shut up.' I said laughing , when I let go.

'Ronnie, you are the only one who knows about my family, I don't really want anyone else to' he said

'Promise I won't tell.' I said not letting him go.

'I really should get back, I need to get back before my dad does or he's going to hurt Hailey.' He said.

I let go and waved as his car pulled away from my house. I went back inside, my ankle was starting to hurt so I took pain killers and texted Jake, telling him that I broke my ankle but I can still practise. It sucked that I broke my ankle right after becoming the singer of a band.

_Okay, wow, how ya doin? I'' see you tomorrow at band practise?_ He sent back

"Yeah, I'll be there. I'm doing okay!" I quickly replied before heading up stairs to my bed.

JACK

I pulled the car into the drive way, his car was still gone. Letting out a sigh of relief I headed inside and up into my bedroom. Hailey was playing guitar inside, she was singing Lullabies. I loved that song, Alex had written it about his brother. I smiled and walked inside. She stopped singing and blushed.

'Don't stop.' I laughed and took of my jacket.

Our room was tiny, both our beds were crammed in. Hailey put her guitar in the corner of the room. I stared at it, it was blue and had black edges, there were scratches and dents all over it. Dad used it to beat us with it.

'How's mom?' I said to her.

'I dunno I haven't seen her, she has been in her room for hours.' She said 'I'll go check on her now.' She left the room and I heard her open my mom's room, she screamed.

'JACK!' she yelled form down the hall.

I ran into my parent's bedroom and my heart nearly stopped. My mom was lying sprawled across the bed, which were soaked with blood. She was sitting with the sharp knife from the kitchen lodged in her chest. There was a note lying on the bed next to her, Hailey walked over and picked it up. She read it out loud to us.

Dearest children,

For what I am about to do I am eternally sorry, just know that I will always love you both and you must never give in like I did, just know that life was too hard for me and I am happy now.

Love always, mom.

She broke down and fell to her knees on the floor, her tears were flowing freely from her eyes. The seemed to be leaking from mine to. I dropped to the floor beside her and pulled her into my chest. We sat there for a while until I got up and phoned the police.


	5. Snowdays

RONNIE

I woke up to the noise of something hitting my window. I got up and pulled back my curtains. Jack and Hailey were standing in my back yard, I pushed open my window.

'What are you guys doing here?' I whispered

'Can we come in?' Jack replied, his voice sounded like he had been crying.

I nodded and closed my window, I limped as fast as I could downstairs to my back door. I opened the door to Jack and Hailey. Hails eyes were red and her mascara was running.

'What's up?' I said as they walked in

JACK

I told Ronnie what had happened by the time I was finished I was crying, I don't know when I had started. She snaked an arm around my shoulders.

'You need to sleep.' She said.

I woke up the next morning, Hail was still asleep on the couch and Ronnie was nowhere to be seen. I got up and noticed a note taped to the door. I pulled it off and read it.

_Hey Jack, I'm so sorry but I had to go out to band practise but I didn't want to wake you. There is loads of food in the fridge and I'll be back at 3, Ronnie xxx_

I sighed remembering yesterday. Everything seemed unreal, like It was so sad to even think about it. We had called the police, who confirmed that it was a suicide. We had told them about our dad and the beating. He had shown up while the police where at our house. He then proceeded to punch one of them and was going to jail for 5 years. They told us that we had to find somewhere to stay while they found our closest relatives. Ronnie was the first person I thought of.

8 MONTHS LATER

RONNIE

I sang my heart out in band practice today, I was loving it. Being in a band was so fun! When we were done everyone started to pack their stuff away. All Time Low had come back from their tour a couple of months ago and had just released their first full length album.

'Hey guys, I found out about this really awesome band!' said Andy pulling out a copy of So Wrong it's Right 'They are called All Time Low.' He passed the CD to Jake, I laughed.

'What?' he said

'Nothing it's just, my boyfriend Jack is the guitarist, they are all my best friends.' I said to them

'Really? Cool!' said Ash looking at the CD standing beside Jake. 'Do you think we could meet them?'

'Hah, yeah sure!' I said

I pulled my phone out my pocket

One new message: Alex

_Hey Ronnie! We have some awesome news, come over to Zacks!_

I replied: Yeah sure, can I bring the band? They wanna meet you guys!

_Ok, can't wait to meet them, see you in 15?_

See yah then!

'You guys wanted to meet them, I'm heading over there now if you want to come?' I said jamming my phone back in my pocket.

'Yeah cool!' said JJ walking over from behind his drum set.

We headed over to Zack's, me telling Jake where to drive. Ash, JJ and Andy were all jammed into the backseat.

I rang Zack's doorbell, he answered it.

'Hey Ron!' said Zack and I gave him a hug. 'Come in, are these your band mates?'

'Yeah Zack, this is Ash, Andy, Jake and JJ.' I said and they followed me inside 'Guys this is Zack, he plays bass.'

We headed into his basement where Alex, Jack and Rian where all standing around with their instruments. Hailey was sitting on the love seat she hung out with us a lot, she was either with us or some guy called David? or her best friend Shane.

'Hey guys.' I said walking over and kissing Jack briefly and giving Alex a one handed hug.

'This is Ash, Jake, Andy and JJ. My band mates, guys this is Jack, Alex and Rian and Jack's sister Hailey' I said doing brief introductions.

'What did you want to tell me?' I said to Alex, who was grinning his lopsided smile.

'We got you guys a spot in Battle of the Bands, if you win you get a record deal.' Jack said smiling at me

'Are you serious?' Ash said from behind me.

'Completely,' He said smiling 'Now we wane hear if you are any good!'

We laughed and played music all day, Zack and Ash really hit it off. I walked home that night, Ash lived down the street so we walked together. We left the house and she stuffed a piece of paper in her pocket.

'What's that?' I said and she blushed.

'Nothing….' She said staring at her feet.

'Ash?' I said smiling at her evilly

'It's nothing, Zack just gave me his number.' She said shooting me a grin, we had become great friends over the last few months.

'That's great, you make a cute couple. See you tomorrow.' I said heading in my drive way. Something cold and wet landed on my head. I looked up as another perfect flake of snow fell on my face.

'Snow!' I said as more flakes fell, landing on my eye lashes. I jammed my tongue out and let them fall on me, laughing I headed inside.

'Mom, Mark, I'm home!' I called into the house.

'Hey Ron!' I heard my step dad call back 'you're just in time.'

'Dinner's out!' my mom called, I cringed, my mom made really great food but I really wasn't hungry.

'Be there a minute.' I said running up the stairs into my bedroom, I shrugged of my slightly damp hoodie and pulled a brush through my hair. I ran back down stairs and flopped down in my chair at the kitchen table. My mom placed a plate of macaroni in front of me, great…. I smiled at my mom and ate a few shells of pasta.

'You guys noticed it's snowing?' I said grinning like a kid.

'Ah, so Jack's coming over tomorrow then?' my mom said laughing at my immaturity.

I nodded, it was a tradition of Jack and I's that the first day it snowed in the year we had to spend It together making snow men and shit. We have been doing this since we were about 9.

'Oh and guess what?' I said remembering the battle of the bands thing.

'What?' Mark said

'The guys got us a place in battle of the bands, if we win we get a record deal.' I said

'Wow honey, that's incredible!' said mom, I ate some more.

'Do you guys have a band name yet?' said Mark curiously. It suddenly struck me that we didn't have a name, I laughed.

'We don't? Wow, we need to fix that.' I said giggling, I pushed the last few bits of pasta in my mouth and left to go upstairs to my room.

I grabbed my phone and called Jack.

_Hey Ronnie! What's up?_

'Hey, have you looked outside?_'_

_No…snow!_

'Haha, yes so you know what that means?'

_The annual snow day of the best-est friends ever! _I laughed, we had called it that when we were 11.

'Yes!' I yelled

_I'll be there first thing in the afternoon!_

'Okay, see yah then, bestest friend!'I said smiling.

_Love you Ron. _My heart completely melted

'Love you too.' I said hanging up.

I pulled out my guitar and started to play Jasey Rae, singing along in places.

XXXXXXXXXX

I pulled on my clothes and shoes, it had been snowing all night and there was a thick blanket covering everything. The doorbell rang and I ran down stairs yelling to my mom

'I'll get it!' I said pulling the door open to see Jack, he looked so cute.

He was wearing his usual, skinnies and hoodie except he was wearing gloves and there was a beanie pulled down over his hair. I smiled at him, he grinned evily. He leaned forward and I thought he was going to kiss me until something cold slid down the back of my shirt. I screamed trying to shake the snow out of my top, he made a run for it.

'Oh it's on Jacko!' I yelled grabbing a handful of snow and throwing it as hard as I could at him it hit him square in the chest. We started to completely attack each other with snow. I ran straight up to him and jumped on his back, jamming a snowball down his shirt.

'Mwahahah!' I yelled getting off his back.

'Oh, I'm going to get you for that!' he said smiling at me playfully, he started to chase me around the yard. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into him.

'Got you.' He said in my ear. I turned around to face him, I leaned into his lips. His eyes looked to the side for a second.

'Your mom and step dad are looking at us.' He whispered my lips centimetres from his, I slid my eyes to the side seeing my mom and Mark looking at us through the window.

'I don't care.' I whispered pulling the front of his shirt, he moved the last few centimetres. The kiss was light considering my parents were watching, I pulled away after a couple of seconds.

'Bet I could make a bigger snow man than you.' I said grinning at him.

'Oh you are so on!' he said letting go and grabbing a handful of snow and rolling it up.

We made the snowmen, he won, his being a clear foot bigger than mine.

'Fuck.' I said as we stood back to admire our work.

'Sorry Ron,' he said dropping an arm across my shoulders, he was grinning like a kid.

You could barely tell him mom had died a couple of moths ago. Him and Hailey were living with their grandparents now. I smiled and kissed his cheek, it was freezing. I took his hand leading him back inside.


	6. You're on!

**Hey guys finally done this chapter! Hope yah likes it! Read the lyrics they are so great and they kind of fit the story.**

RONNIE

I sat backstage of the Baltimore Royal Academy, there were 3 other bands in the room with us. I started to bite my lip. Any second now we would be called to the stage for Battle of the Bands. We had called ourselves Broken Hopes. I had been non-stop writing music for the past month, I had finally finished the song the other day. It was called 'Emergency.' I had written it about my parents splitting up and if we won we got to sing another song, I had written another song called 'Looking up.' Which I had half written about the band half about Jack.

**Emergency**

_I think we have an emergency, I think we have an emergency. _

_If you thought I'd bleed then you were wrong.  
>Because I won't stop holding on<em>

_So are you listening? So are you watching me?  
>If you thought I'd bleed then you were wrong<br>Because I won't stop holding on_

_This is an emergency, So are you listening?  
>And I can't pretend that I don't see this<br>It's really not your fault_

_And no one cares to talk about it  
>To talk about it<br>Cause' I've seen love die way too many times  
>When it deserved to be alive<br>I've seen you cry way too many times  
>When you deserved to be alive<br>Alive..._

_So give up every chance you get  
>Just to feel new again<br>I think we have an emergency  
>I think we have an emergency<br>And you do your best to show me love  
>But you don't know what love is<br>So are you listening?  
>So are you watching me?<br>Well I can't pretend that I don't see this  
>It's really not your fault<em>

_And no one cares to talk about it  
>To talk about it<br>Cause' I've seen love die way too many times  
>When it deserved to be alive<br>I've seen you cry way too many times  
>When you deserved to be alive<br>Alive..._

_The scars they will not fade away_

_And no one cares to talk about it  
>To talk about it<br>Cause' I've seen love die way too many times  
>When it deserved to be alive<br>I've seen you cry way too many times  
>When you deserved to be alive<br>Alive..._

_**Looking up**_

_Things are looking up, oh finally!  
>I thought I'd never see the day when you smile at me.<br>We always pull through  
>oh when we try,<br>I'm always wrong but you're never right.  
>You're never right!<em>

_Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?  
>I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!<br>It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh..  
>It's not a dream anymore! It's worth fighting for.<em>

_Could have given up so easily  
>I was a few cheap shots away from the end of me<br>Taken for granted, almost everything that I would have died for  
>Just yesterday,<br>Just yeterday_

_Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?  
>I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!<br>It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh..  
>It's not a dream anymore! It's worth fighting for.<em>

_God knows the world doesn't need another band, (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
>But what a waste it would've been! (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)<br>I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
>We're just getting started (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)<em>

_Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?  
>I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!<br>It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh..  
>.comlooking_up_lyrics_  
>It's not a dream anymore! It's worth fighting for.<em>

_I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
>We're just getting started (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)<br>I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
>We're just getting started<br>We're just getting started._

A stage hand ran in,

'Okay. Broken Hopes? You're up!' he said leading us to the side of the stage.

I caught sight of the audience, it was huge. There was a sudden break out of butterflies in my stomach. Well, they felt more like a swarm of angry wasps. The guys were being set up with their instruments.

'Okay next we have a local band, please give it up for…Broken Hopes!' said the host on the stage.

The stage hand ushered us on the stage.

'Hey, what's up guys?' I said into the mic. 'We are Broken Hopes and this song is called Emergency.'

The wasps seemed to disappear when the music started, I completely lost myself in the song. I pulled the microphone of the stand and started to skip around the stage, singing to different parts of the audience. It seemed to be over way to quickly and soon we were leaving the stage waving to the screaming audience.

XXXXXXXXXX

I stood on the stage, the five other bands we were competing against there too. We were waiting for the host to read the results.

'Okay, the winner of battle of the bands is..' he said creating tension in the room.

The audience started to scream the names of the bands they wanted to win.

'Broken Hopes!' I heard a familiar voice yell.

I looked over to the audience to see Hailey, Jack, Alex, Rian and Zack yelling our names. I listened to the

audience and grinned when most of them were yelling our name.

'Broken Hopes!' said the host

'Oh my god!' I yelled hugging my band mates.

We ran over to the host who handed us a trophy which JJ held over our heads.

'Okay, the stage is yours!' said the host and the other bands left the stage, congratulating us as they left, I smiled at them thankfully. A few stage hands ran on handing the guys their instruments.

'Okay, this song is called Looking Up. It's about never giving up and always staying strong and fighting for what you believe in, it's dedicated to all my friends in the front row there.!' I said, pointing at them, the whole room turned to look at them.

'Maybe one slightly more than the others?' Said Andy, I laughed. It seemed so easy to be on stage with these guys and just talk to the audience.

'They are also called All Time Low! Go check them out!' Jake added.

The guys burst into the song and I sang my heart out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

We all stood backstage and signed the contacts for our record deal with Virgin Records. I scrawled my name across the page.

'Hey! I swear we are friends with the winning band!' I heard Rian say from outside the room. I looked out the door and saw the guys struggling with a security guard. Laughing, I ran over to them.

'They're with me.' I said to the guard, who nodded and let them go.

'I can't believe you won!' said Zack practically hugging the air out of me.

'Cant…breathe…' I choked out

'Sorry, yeah that came out wrong too,' he said blushing, I laughed at him.

Ash ran over next to me. She caught Zack's eye and they both looked away blushing, I sighed.

'Guys, stop with the awkward blushing.' I said to them 'Zack would you hurry up and ask her out already!' everyone laughed at me.

'What?' I said winking.

'Fine, Ashley I would be delighted if you would accompany me on a date?' Zack said confidently.

'Oh why I would love to, Zachary.' She said laughing.

'Much better!' I said hugging Jack and the others. 


	7. you're late

1 month later

My alarm clock pulled me from a peaceful sleep, I looked over. 5:30am, I groaned. We had to get up this early because we had to beat the first stop by ten. Did I forget to mention we were going to Warped tour? Jack said we could come and we would perform a song every time they went on stage, it would build our fan base and get some recognition before we let out our album. I got out of bed and crept downstairs desperately trying not to wake up my mom and Mark. I pulled out a bowl and poured myself some cereal, I knew we weren't going to get food until we got to Warped. All Time Low had the band, they were working as techs. We were due to release our album after warped and then go on tour opening for All Time Low in the autumn. I sat eating my cereal as quietly as possible. I went back upstairs and pulled on my clothes. I grabbed my suitcase and guitar case, just in time to hear Rian's car pull up in front of my house. I ran down stairs and out the front door. I didn't want them to ring the doorbell. I walked over to his car and pulled open the door, jumping inside.

'Hey Ronnie!' said Zack from the front seat.

'Heyo Zacko!' I replied, I was carpooling with Ash, Zack and Rian to this car park in Baltimore where we would meet the others and get on the bus.

He pulled away from my house, I watched it get smaller in the wing mirror, I had said good bye to my mom the night before. Zack drove into a completely deserted car park, I saw Alex's and JJ's cars were there and there was a huge tour bus with All Time Low written across it. I jumped out the car and ran over to the bus I everyone was standing in front of it looking buzzed. I threw my arms around Jack.

'Whoa, hey there!' he said

'Hello! I'm excited!' I said practically bouncing up and down. He laughed and I hugged everyone else. Hailey was going to wave us off.

'We better go.' Said Matt, 'We have to be there in 4 hours'

'Let's go!' yelled Alex, we all sad goodbye to Hailey and headed onto the bus.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The bus pulled up in the first stop of Warped. Jack and I headed out the bus to explore and see if there were any other acts here yet, as well as the fact we haven't been alone together in a while. We walked around for a while. There were 3 main stages that would have the headlining acts on them and then various other smaller stages where All Time Low and other smaller acts would be.

'Awesome!' Jack said looking at the tiny stage where they would be performing.

'Yeah, it's pretty cool, when are you going on for the first time?' I said

'Couple of hours I think, we are so getting you guys on stage.' He said smiling down at me.

I wrapped my arms around his waist smiling he grinned and leaned into me. I pressed my lips against his.

XXXXXXXXX

The guys were about to go on stage.

'Good luck!' I said to them as they ran on stage.

They were playing and running across the stage head banging and getting the audience to sing along. The weather was almost unbearably hot but the atmosphere of the place was amazing. So far I had met so many bands that I loved including Escape the Fate! I was seriously in love with that band, not to mention their lead singer _(ex-lead singer now D:)_ had the same name as me!

'Right, we have on mission for you guys!' said Alex into the microphone 'and that is to fall in love with the band Broken Hopes and if you cheer loud enough they are going to come on stage and perform a song to you!' the crowd screamed in excitement.

'Alright!' said Jack 'Please welcome Ronnie, Ash, Jake, Andy and JJ!'

We ran on the stage and the crowd cheered, the guys handed their instruments to us. I walked up to the mic.

'Hello there Warped!' I said, the crowd screaming. 'Right we are going to play our song Emergency'

The guys burst into the song and I sang the song.

'I think we have an emergency!' I sang I saw a couple of people in the crowd singing along, it felt so good, they were singing the lyrics I had written. We finished the song.

'Thank you so much!' I said and we left the stage

XXXXXXXXXXX

I lay on the grass, my head on Jacks lap, he was absentmindedly playing with my hair. We were having a camp fire, All Time Low and Broken Hopes. Various people from other bands had joined us as well as a few people working on the tour. I was writing some lyrics in my notebook, I was working really hard on the album, I looked at Jack and started a new song..

_My Heart_

_I am finding out that maybe I was wrong, That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone  
>Stay with me, this is what I need, please?<em>

_Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you, We could sing our own  
>But what would I be without you?<em>

_I am nothing now and it's been so long  
>Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope, This time I will be listening<em>

_Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you, We could sing our own  
>But what would it be without you?<em>

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you  
>This heart, it beats, beats for only you<em>

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you, My heart is yours  
>This heart, it beats, beats for only you<br>My heart is yours_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you  
>My heart is yours<br>This heart, it beats, beats for only you  
>My heart, my heart is yours<em>

_My heart is yours, My heart is yours, My heart is_

I smiled at the page.

'I like it.' Jack said in my ear, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

'You should, I wrote it about you.' I said, he grinned at me.

I looked up and blushed seeing that Alex, Zack and Ash were looking at us. Zack had an arm draped across her shoulders.

'Sing it to us.' Said Ash smiling.

'No, I..' I said looking down at my book, sitting up.

'Please?' said Alex

'No.' I said

'Please, please, please, please, please, please!' said Ash, everyone else turned to see what the big deal was.

'Fine! If you shut up!' I said. I opened the page and looked at the lyrics, I started to sing.

'That's an amazing song.' said Rian, holding a marshmallow in mid-air above the fire.

'Thanks' I said smiling

'You should play that one tomorrow.' Jack said, snaking his arms around my waist.

'I dunno, I mean it's only lyrics so far..' I said

'We could work it out.' Said JJ

'Yeah we could start right now!' said Andy, his blue eyes glowing.

'Okay!' I said, the band got up and ran to get their instruments.

They came back a couple of minutes later, with two acoustic guitars, Ash's bass and some bongos for JJ. We sat for hours just working out chords and beats. We were there until about 4 in the morning, it was freezing and the fire had died out. We headed back to the bus, creeping into our bunks trying not to wake anyone up. I snuggled down into my bed, curling into a ball and wrapping the covers around me. Trying to keep myself warm, the bunks at the back of the bunk were freezing and smelled slightly of shit, they were way to close to the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

'Ron?' I heard a voice whisper. I grounded pulling the covers over my head, suddenly something jumped on top of me.

'WAKE UP!' Jack screamed in my ear.

I laughed and pulled the covers away from my face, looking up at him straddling on my hips.

'Hello there.' I said laughing at him

JACK

I looked at her, she looked so beautiful. Her green eyes were tired and she was smiling up at me, her hair slightly messed up.

'Hello..' I said kissing her.

I climbed of her lap and jumped down out of her bunk. She jumped out after me, it was 12pm but we had let her sleep, I had heard the band come back sometime really early in the morning. We got ready and headed out to the stage, everyone was already there.

'Where's Alex?' Ronnie said looking around.

I looked around us, she was right. Alex was nowhere to be seen.


	8. first fans

We played through our set about 10 minutes late, Alex had only showed up about 20 minutes ago. He was going to be punished for this.

'Right!' I said 'If any of you were here yesterday you know we brought on the band Broken Hopes, so we are going to get them on stage again!'

The crowd cheered as the guys came on stage.

RONNIE

'Hey, what up! Right, so today, we are going to sing you a new song, we only wrote it yesterday!' the crowd screamed. 'So you are pretty lucky! It's called My Heart and it's dedicated to the Mr Jack Barakat!'

I started to sing into the microphone letting myself go. I loved this song so much, even though we had only written it yesterday. The crowd sat down, one by one. They all sat on the grass and started to wave their arms.

'I love you guys!' I said laughing, in the next break in the song. I finished the song and the audience cheered getting to their feet again.

XXXXXXXXX

I sat on the grass, soaking up the sunshine, trying to tan my unbelievably pale legs. There was a quiet spot just beside the smallest stage where no one really ever came. All Time Low were still performing and I could hear Six Feet Under the Stars being played in the distance. I pulled out my song book and started writing a couple of lyrics. A boy who looked about the same age as me came up with a few girls who were blushing and giggling.

'Hey, can I help you?' I said smiling, getting to my feet.

'Yeah are you Ronnie from Broken Hopes?' the boy said, my first fans!

'That's me.' I said grinning

'Uh, my friends were wondering if you could sign this?' he said handing me a note pad with a sharpie

'Sure!' I said taking it from them.

'We really loved that song you sang.' Said a girl shyly who looked around 14.

'Thanks' I said scrawling my signature across the page. 'There you go!' I said handing them the book.

'Thanks!' another girl piped up.

'You guys enjoying the festival?' I said to them

'Yeah it's really great!' said the boy 'Uh does your band have any records out?'

'Not yet but we plan to get one out when we come back from Warped then we are going on tour opening for All Time Low.' I said to them, it was awesome to talk to them

'Cool, we should come see you! We will definitely buy your CD when it comes out!' said one of the girls, more confidently. 'Could we maybe have a picture?'

'Of Course!' I said I put my arm over the two girls and the boy took a picture of us.

'Thanks!' said the girl looking at the picture

'No problem' I said grinning at them

'Well thanks but we better go, we want to catch Escape The Fate!' said the boy

'Have fun.' I said as they headed off

Grinning I sat back down on the grass and pulled my book out again. I started putting the lyrics together, I wanted a more hard core song, quite fast paced with a lot of guitar. I started thinking about how much I didn't fit in at school and that music was all I ever wanted to do.

Oh no I just keep on falling, Back to the same old.  
>Where's hope when misery comes crawling? Oh my way, Ay.<br>With your faith you'll trigger a landslide, victory  
>Kill off this common sense of mind<p>

It takes acquired minds to taste, to taste, to taste this wine. You can't down it with your eyes  
>So we don't need the headlines, We don't need the headlines. We just want.<p>

Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
>Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?<br>Everybody live like it's the last day you will ever see  
>Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?<p>

Right now you're the only reason, I'm not letting go, oh…  
>Time out if everyone's worth pleasing, Well ha-ha!<br>You'll trigger a landslide , Victory. to kill off their finite state of mind

It takes acquired minds to taste, to taste, to taste this wine  
>You can't down it with your eyes, So we don't need the headlines<br>No, we don't want your headlines, We just want…

Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
>Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?<br>Everybody live like it's the last day you will ever see  
>Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?<p>

Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
>Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure?<p>

Alright, so you think you're ready?  
>Ok, then you say this with me<br>Go!  
>We were born for this<br>We were born for this  
>Alright, so you think you're ready?<br>OK, then you say this with me  
>Go!<br>We were born for this  
>We were born for this<br>We were born for this  
>We were born for this<p>

We were born for  
>We were born for<p>

Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
>Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?<br>Everybody live like it's the last day you will ever see  
>Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure now?<p>

Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
>Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?<br>Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?

We were born for this  
>We were born for this<br>We were born for this

I ran back to the tour bus and grabbed my guitar and went back outside, I started putting in chords and riffs. JJ bounded up to me.

'Hey Ron!' he said flopping down next to me

'Hey JJ!' I said strumming a couple of random chords.

'This a new song?' he said grinning and looking at my page.

'Yeah, it's called Born For This.' I said thinking of the name on the spot.

'You need some help? I could figure out some beats for you?' he said

'That would be great actually.' I said smiling at him as he got up and got his bongos. He came back sitting next to me.

'Just start playing what you have done so far, I'll join in with a basic beat and make it better later.'

'Okay.' I said I started playing and then sang, about 10 seconds in JJ started playing a beat it was pretty simple but as the song continued he made it more detailed and precise.

'Awesome!' I said finishing.

'That's really cool!' said a voice from behind me.

I nearly jumped out of my skin, I turned round and Ronnie from Escape The Fate was there.

'Thanks' I said smiling at him

'You guys have been playing with All Time Low right?' he said grinning.

'Yeah?' I said

'Well, we are leaving to go to a new stop tonight, would you guys want to sing that song on our stage when we get there?' he said

'Are you serious?' I said jumping up.

'Yeah, you guys are great and I think fans will love you.' He said grinning.

'Thank you so much!' I said giving him a quick awkward hug.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

We had a party on the bus that night. It was fun, we were all only 18 so the plan for getting alcohol had failed miserably, So we partied while drinking Carpi Suns, though whenever the bus turned a sharp corner we all kinda fell over.

'Hey, guys, guess what?' I said to Jake, Andy, Ash, Alex and Jack who were standing with me. 'Ronnie asked me if we wanted to perform on Escape The Fate's main stage tomorrow!'

'That's incredible, what are we going to perform?' said Andy

'Ron wrote a new song today, if we work really hard on it tomorrow we could pull it off.' Said JJ

Eventually we dragged ourselves to bed.

'These bunks are so cold and smell of crap.' Alex grumbled climbing into the bunk above me.

'Welcome to the cold crap bunks.' I said to him, getting into my own bed. He had been banished to the cold crap bunks for being late today. I fell asleep quickly, I was completely wiped out.

XXXXX

I had been working really hard on the song all day and we were waiting at the side of the main stage to go on with Escape The Fate.

'Alright guys! We are goanna bring on a fuckin' amazing band, you may have seen them on the All Time Low stage, but we stole them.' Said Ronnie the crowd laughed 'and their lead singer has an awesome name, please welcome Ronnie, Ash, Jake, Andy and JJ otherwise known as Broken Hopes!'

We played our new song and the crowd seemed to love it. I was trying to get them to sing parts of Born for This, thrusting the microphone at them to amplify their voices.

'Alright so you think you're ready? Okay, then you say this with me. We were born for this!' I sang and then pointed the microphone at them

'We were born for this!' they sang back to me

'You guys sound fucking beautiful!' I said into the mic before singing again and pointing the mic at them again. the song finished.

'Thanks so much to Escape The Fate for having us and it would mean so much to us if you could go check out All Time Low!' I said

We left the stage with the crowd screaming their heads off. We got of stage and we all stared at each other.

'Oh my god.' Said Ash grinning.


	9. surprises and tattoos

**4 months later**

I stood behind the microphone at Virgin Studios in New York, recording our album. We had been here all week. We were recording a song we had written a couple of weeks ago called Brick by Boring Brick. It was the last song in the album and we were going to a photo shoot for the album in a couple of hours. I was completely fried, I had been working so hard to make this possible and I was so stoked to go on tour in a few weeks with Al Time Low. I hadn't seen the guys in months, I missed them so much, especially Jack. We finished up the song.

'Alright, that's great guys, now I need to start editing, the album will come out in a few days. If you go outside there's a car waiting to take you to the studio for your photo shoot.' Said our manager.

'Thanks Tony.' I said as we left. I gave him a high five grinning.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I smiled and posed for the camera. Andy gave a rock and roll sign and stuck out his tongue. We all laughed and started doing silly faces. We were there all afternoon, I loved these guys so much. We headed home a couple of hours later. It was going to take us over 3 hours to get back to Baltimore, but it was so worth it. I took my phone out and opened twitter, I had got so many followers over the last few months.

'_Heading home to Baltimore, can't wait to see loved ones again.'_ I pressed tweet and looked through a few of the tweets fans had sent me, re-tweeting some good ones and replying to a couple. I leant my head against the window, I fell asleep a couple of minutes later. I was woken up by the sound of Jake cheering as we past the 'Welcome to Baltimore' sign. I laughed and smiling like crazy looked at all the familiar sights passing by the window. I grimaced as we past my old high school. We pulled into Jacks drive way where we were going to stay tonight. I grinned and jumped out the car, the lights were off inside the house. Frowning we headed to the front door, I figured the guys would still be awake, it was midnight. I turned the key in the lock and we headed in. we turned into the living room and put my keys of the table by the door.

'Surprise!' yelled the guys turning on the light and jumping out from behind the couch. The room was decorated with balloons and streamers. 'Welcome home!' was written on the banner hanging across the wall.

'Oh my god! I love you guys!' I said, hugging Rian who was closest to me.

Ash ran over to Zack who lifted her up hugging her. I looked over to the window where Jack was standing smiling like a kid. I ran into his arms throwing my arms around his neck. I tangled my fingers in his hair.

'I've missed you so much.' I said in his ear.

'I've missed you too, I love you so much Ron' he said

'I love you too.' I said, I pushed my lips to his, breathing in his scent. God, I had missed him more than I thought I had.

Alex cleared his throat behind me,

'Hello, where's my hug?' he said, laughing, I let go of Jack and gave Alex a hug, then Zack and Hailey. Rian's girlfriend Kara was there as well, I like her, she's a nice girl, and there was another, the girl I assumed was Jenna, Alex's new girlfriend.

'God, I've missed you guys so much.' I said,

'We missed you too.' said Alex, putting an arm over my shoulder smiling a lopsided smile. I put an arm around his waist laughing.

We were awake until sometime in the morning just talking, I didn't really like Alex's girlfriend much but he seemed to like her so I guess she must be ok. I fell asleep on the couch, my head on Jack's lap. It reminded me of the amazing Warped summer we spent together. I woke up , I seemed to be the first. I was lying on the sofa spooning, with Jack. I carefully lifted his arm from around me, I carefully made my way through the guys who had fallen asleep on the floor. Ash had fallen asleep in Zack's arms. That made me smile. I stepped around Hailey her recently dyed blue hair falling in her she who was curled into a ball on the floor. Jack had told me she had started to date some guy called David, he said he didn't like him much, but he made her happy so he didn't mind. He had also mentioned she had started a band with her two best friends. I wandered into the kitchen, Jake and Andy were sitting on the counter playing acoustic guitar.

'Hey guys.' I said pushing myself up onto the counter.

'Hey Ron, we were just talking. How would you feel about getting band tattoo's?' said Jake

'That would be so cool!' I said, I had always wanted tattoo's

'Yeah we thought we could all get our logo?' added Andy

XXXXXX

I watched as the needle got closer to my arm. It started to pierce my skin, I winced as the artist started to work. It wasn't so bad. I watched as our logo started to form on my arm. it was a bottle with skulls and cross bones on it, spilling out a bright purple poison. It looked pretty awesome, I was having it tattooed on my forearm. He finished up and my arm was red and swollen, it looked so good. I was about to get my lip pierced as well, I was getting a ring in the left side of my mouth.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

I woke up, looking at Jack across from me in the bed, who was still asleep, I smiled at my best friend. We had moved in together a couple of weeks ago. I smiled and getting out of bed I headed down stairs. I heard the mail being pushed through the door, I walked over and picked up the envelope that had been pushed through the door, catching sight of my new tattoo, that was going to need some getting used too. It was a heavy packet, I looked at it. Miss V Stone was addressed on the front, I ripped it open and a copy of our album fell out into my hand. I almost forgot, today was the day our album came out. I looked at it, Broken Hopes was written across the top, then Careful, which we had decided to call the album. There was a picture of us on the front, the picture was black and white and the writing was bright red. I grinned and opened it looking at all the pictures in the sleeve and the lyrics to the songs I'd written.

'Ronnie?' Jack said from behind me. I turned around grinning, I handed him the CD.

'Awesome!' he said turning it over and looking at the list of songs.

'Careful, Looking Up, My Heart, Born for This, Brick by Boring Brick, Stay With Me, Turn it Off, For a Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic and Miracle.' Jack said reading the songs.

'Yeah' I said smiling at the CD.

'I can't wait to play them on tour!' I said grinning at him. I was so excited to be opening for All Time Low, we were going on tour tomorrow.

There was a sudden splitting pain in my head. I clutched my head and dropped to my knees in pain.

'Ronnie? What is it?' Jack said dropping to his knees next to me. The pain seemed to be subduing, I rubbed my temples.

'Nothing, it's just a head ache.' I said

He looked at me worriedly before helping me to my feet.

I knew it was more than a head ache, it was because my sugar levels were really low. I used to get them all the time when I had an eating disorder. I knew I hadn't been eating as much lately, I never had breakfast and when I could I wouldn't really eat lunch either. The thing is, I couldn't stop. It was like someone was controlling me, and it was making me starve myself.

'I'm fine.' I said to Jack, who looked at me disbelievingly

XXXXXXXX

I walked hand in hand with Jack to the same deserted car park we had come to that summer. I smiled at the familiar bus sitting in the car park. I smiled even though there was a clawing hunger in my stomach. The bands were standing in front of the bus smiling and talking.

'They are here!' said Rian

'Finally!' said Alex, I laughed and we headed onto the bus.

I walked over to my bunk in the cold crap bunks, I smiled at the familiar faint smell of shit, Alex grumbling to himself about it. I pulled back the curtain and looked at the pictures I had stuck there last tour. There was one of me on the Escape the Fate stage, one of the band, one of me and Jack when we were 12 and one of me Jack and Alex at Alex's 15th birthday party. I smiled at the memories and put my bags onto the bed.


	10. It's back

I sang my heart out to the crowd, I wanted to put on a good show. Pretend like nothing was bothering me, but I hadn't eaten since last night. There was a raging hunger in my stomach but I tried to ignore it.

'Alright guys, this is our last song, it's called My Heart.' I said and put the microphone back on its stand

I started to sing into the mic, my head suddenly pounding, I continued as if nothing was wrong. The heat of the room was getting to me and the fact I was performing on an empty stomach, suddenly everything was black and I heard rushing in my ears, my knees buckled and I felt the ground coming up to meet me.

XXXXXXXX

I opened my eyes and saw I was back to the tour bus. Jake and Ash were sitting on the couch beside me, looking worried. I groaned at the pain in my head.

'What happened?' I mumbled

'You passed out. Zack carried you back to the bus,' said Ash biting her thumb 'Are you ok?'

'I'm fine, I just got really hot.' I lied

'Yeah, it was really warm and you were running around a lot.' Said Jake, smiling weakly

'Yeah, where is every one?' I said

'The guys are still on stage and Andy and JJ are out getting some food.' Ash replied

'Oh, okay.' I said, I would eat what they brought back, that way I would seem fine, I really didn't want to worry them.

Andy and JJ came back about 15 minutes later with some pizza, I eat a few slices and laughing and talking with the guys. It felt good to have food in my stomach but the feeling of guilt was eating at me. I decided I would tweet about the fainting and to say that it was just way to hot in there.

_Passed out on stage tonight! Jeff needs to cool it with the lights, it was a small oven in there tonight!_

I pressed tweet, it made it seem like I was laughing about the whole thing. I heard people outside the bus which meant the guys were done with the show.

'Hey lets go outside and sign some shit!' I said hoping up from the couch

We walked outside and a bunch of people standing there ran over. We stood for ages just signing random shit, writing our names on people's faces and their sleeves. Loads of people asked me if I was ok, I loved that the fans cared so much. I told them I was fine and I just got to hot. We were outside for hours, finally all the fans had dissipated and the guys came back to the bus. Jack ran over and lifted me up in his arms.

'You sure you're ok?' he said putting me down

'I'm fine, just the heat.' I said smiling at him

'Good.' He said leaning into me, I kissed him back gratefully, just happy to be with him.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I crept into my bunk, pulling the covers around me. I had brought so many extra layers to try and keep myself warm. I snuggled down into the familiar sheets and fell into a peaceful sleep.

I walked along the quiet beach, hand in hand with Jack.

'I love you.' He said to me, smiling

'I love you too.' I said, our lips were just about to meet when the picture changed.

I was falling in a dark tunnel, I couldn't breathe. I could hear people I loved calling out for help but I couldn't see or reach them, suddenly, I was under water. I tried to scream out but the water filled my mouth and a choked.

I woke up in bed with a scream. I pulled my legs into my chest panting, I was covered in a cold sweat. I started to cry, I hadn't had that dream in years. The first time I had had it was when my parents had first split up. I had had it every night until my mom took me to therapy.

'Ronnie? Are you ok?' I heard someone say from outside my bunk, I wiped the tears away from my eyes and pulled the curtain back. Alex was standing just outside my bunk, looking worried. He had probably heard me, he was in the bunk above me after all.

'I'm fine, it's just a bad dream.' I said rubbing my eyes

'Ronnie…' he said

'I'm fine.' I said trying to smile but just getting more tears.

'Come here.' He said putting his arms around me. I leaned into him, standing out my bunk, and buried my face in his chest. I let myself cry. What the fuck was wrong with me? I loved Alex, don't get it wrong, he was my best friend but I was clinging to him crying my eyes out. I shut my eyes, trying to stop the tears. Alex shifted me, he pushed me over slightly and suddenly I smelled the familiar smell of Jack.

JACK

I heard the crying in the middle of the night, I got out of my bed and saw a silhouette down the bus. I walked towards it and saw Alex and Ronnie, she was crying against Alex's chest. Alex smiled at me weakly before shifting her into my arms, he shot me a look, saying there was something seriously wrong with her, before he left us alone. I rubbed her back, she took in a ragged breath and looked at me. Her eyes were red and puffy.

'Ronnie, what is wrong.' I said to her

'It's nothing, just a…bad dream.' She said, taking deep breath

'That's not what I meant.' I said, sighing.

'It's back and I can't stop it.' She said

'What is?' I said confused

'The disorder.' She said staring at her feet

I knew what she meant, she had developed her eating disorder again, it made sense, it wasn't the heat that had made her pass out.

'Oh Ronnie.' I mumbled tightening my grip on her, she felt delicate under my grip, like she could break if I squeezed to hard.

'Jack, I don't know what to do. I can't control myself.' She sobbed into my chest.

'Shhh..' I mumbled 'I'm here for you, we can fix you, we can take you back to therapy.'

She nodded

'Please don't leave me Jack.' She whispered, I felt my heart split in two.

'I'll never leave you.' I said to her

RONNIE

I woke up and there was light steaming in through the curtains of my bunk, I could feel Jacks hot breath on the back of my neck. He had come into my bunk with me, I couldn't bear the idea of being alone. I turned around to look at him, I took in his features. His messy brown hair that had one chunk of blonde in it, I smiled remembering when he got it done like that, me and Alex had said he looked like a skunk. I looked at his closed eyes, the small dimple he had on his chin. I smiled, I was so lucky. He took me, for who I was, including all my shit. His eyes slid open revealing his dark chocolate eyes. He saw me smiling at him and smiled half weakly half tiredly.

Morning.' I said kissing the tip of his nose, he grinned.

'Good morning.' He said as I rolled out of my bunk, him following me.

We walked through to hammered, Jack and Alex had named it that yesterday after I found them asleep on the floor and extremely hung over. I saw that someone had already put out a load of food. I wanted to get better, I seriously did. I guess having something for breakfast was a start. I reached over and took an apple from the counter. I looked at it before biting into it. Jack grinned, I ate about half of it before throwing it out. I sat with Jack in Hammered just talking. It was still quite early in the morning so I think everyone was still asleep.

'You know we are going to have to take you to therapy?' said Jack

'I know.' I said sighing 'I'll call my counsellor tomorrow, set up a meeting, I don't want this to affect the tour and can we just keep it between you and me. I guess Alex as well now. I really don't want to worry everyone.'

'If that's what you want.' Jack said placing his hand on top of mine, I smiled. I leaned over and kissed him.


	11. chocolate bars can be deadly

I walked into the bathroom with my clothes for the show tonight. I pulled of my top, I started to inspect my torso, you could see I had lost weight. My ribs stuck out slightly and my pants were getting too big. I ran my fingers across my ribs, sighing I pulled on my t shirt and shorts. I hadn't eaten lunch that day and I was determined to eat something before I went on tonight. I didn't need to faint again. I walked into the venue, I was the last one there. I slipped into Ash and I's dressing room. I stared at the mini fridge in the corner, it seemed to be challenging me. I walked over slowly and eased open the fridge. I pulled out a bar of chocolate, staring at it, I ripped of the wrapper. I broke of a piece of chocolate and put it in my mouth. The sweet flavour made me feel sick, I spat it out into the bin. I sat down on the floor, feeling defeated. I started to cry, I felt so small, like anything could just push me down and walk all over me. There was a knock at the door.

'What?' I said as smoothly as I could, but my voice cracked.

'Ronnie?' I heard Alex say, he slid into the room.

He looked at me sitting on the floor crying and the chocolate sitting next to me. He smiled at me reassuringly, locking the door so no one could see me, and sat down next to me, he put an arm over my shoulders. I rested my head against him and he rubbed his hand along my arm.

'You're beautiful Ronnie.' Alex said 'why can't you see that?'

I smiled against Alex, I took in a deep breath, trying to calm myself.

'It's not hard.' He continued 'I'll help you.' He tuned round and took the chocolate.

'If I eat one piece, will you eat one?' he said holding the bar in his fingers.

'Okay.' I said nodding 'that might help.'

He broke of a chunk of the bar, he popped it in his mouth, chewed for a couple of seconds before swallowing. He broke of a slightly bigger piece and handed it to me. I twisted it in my fingers a few times, in one swift movement, I put it in my mouth. I chewed it, I enjoyed the taste, I then swallowed it. I smiled, it wasn't too hard.

'See,' said Alex smiling 'not so hard, now can you finish it?'

I broke the chocolate into a couple of pieces. One by one, I ate them. When I was done I couldn't stop smiling. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

'Now, you can do a show completely conscious.' He joked, I chuckled.

'Thanks.' I said smiling

'Hey, what are friends for.' He said getting up and helping me to my feet.

XXXXXXXXXX

'Things are looking up, oh finally.' I sang into the mic, smiling, those lyrics really spoke to me now. I skipped along the stage then head banging at the guitar solo, it made me slightly dizzy but I didn't care. I sang and danced all the way through our songs feeling like a new person. We waved to the crowd and we left the stage. I headed for the showers in the dressing room of the venue when I was stopped by two thin arms wrapping around my waist. I spun round to see Jack, half his hair done up the other not finished. I burst out laughing.

'What?' he said innocently 'It's the new style!' he said striking a pose, which just made me laugh more.

'We're on Jacko!' said Rian, he looked at Jack, then joined me laughing.

'Ah shit!' cursed Jack

'Come on, I'll help you finish.' I said

'Thanks.' He said smiling leading me into the guys' dressing room.

He sat down at a chair at the mirror, handing me hairspray. I grabbed a chunk of his now, de-skunkedified hair. He had dyed out the blonde a couple of days ago and I have to admit, I kind of missed it. I pulled it upwards and sprayed on hair spray, leaving it for a few seconds before quickly back combing it. I could hear the fans screaming, All Time Low.

'There, now don't keep your fans waiting!' I said, he got up and kissed me, and winking at me ran off to the stage.

I wandered back into me and Ash's dressing room, I heard the water running in the bathroom. She had beaten me to the shower. I sighed and sat down on my chair in front of the mirror. My phone, sitting on the table, started to ring. I picked it up and looked at the caller ID, it was my mom, I answered it.

'Hey Mom, how are you' I said

_Hey Ronnie honey, hope I'm not interrupting anything._

'Nope, we just got of stage, what's up?

_Nothing I just wanted to call you, how are you doing sweetie?_

'I'm fine mom,' I said, lying slightly 'how have you and Mark been? I miss you guys'

_I miss you too, we are doing great, and the house is so lonely since you moved in with Jack_

Ash wandered out of the bathroom, her hair damp.

'I gotta go mom, Ash is finally out of the shower.' I said, laughing as Ash stuck her tongue out at me.

_Okay honey, call me again soon._

'I will mom, Love you.' I said smiling

_Love you too, bye honey_.

The line went dead and I put my phone back down. I headed into the shower, grabbing the pack of bright red hair dye on my way. I let the warm water run over me, it was so relaxing. I started to sing to myself, Remembering Sunday. It got to the part that Juliet sings and I really put my voice into it. I knew Ash could probably hear me, but she has heard me sing all the time so it doesn't really matter. I was going to dye my hair again, blonde was getting boring. I stepped out the shower and wrapped the towel around me. I picked up the packet and following the instructions, I dyed my hair. I sat waiting with the dye in for 20 minutes, singing to keep myself occupied. I rinsed out the dye and put my clothes on. I walked back out into our changing room. Ash was sitting with Zack and Rian. I smiled at them and headed over to my table.

'Loved the singing.' Said Rian, I blushed 'You are really good and Remembering Sunday.'

'Thanks.' I said blushing

I started to blow dry my hair, I had told everyone I was dying my hair. I could feel them looking at me. Once my hair was completely dry I looked at it in the mirror, it looked pretty awesome.

'It looks awesome!' said Ash

'Thanks!' I said grinning at my hair in the mirror.

'It's kinda ketchup coloured.' Said Zack 'but it does look great.'

'Thanks Zacko.' I replied 'Where's Jack?' I asked them pulling my straighteners out of the drawer, I started to straighten my hair.

'I think he's still in the shower?' said Rian 'he was the last one to go in our shower.'

There was a knock at our door.

'Come in!' Ash and I said together, I laughed, and Alex slipped inside.

'Wow, bright hair!' he said ruffling it. 'It looks awesome Ron.'

'Thanks Alex.' I said grinning 'Jack out the shower yet?'

'Nah, I think he's still in there. You can check if you want, our dressing rooms open.' He replied

'Okay, cool.' I said switching off the straighteners

I left the guys in and headed towards their dressing room, we had 3 at this venue, one for me and Ash, one for Andy, JJ and Jake and then one for ATL. I walked into the changing room, thinking jack was still in the shower. He wasn't he was standing, completely naked, in the middle of the room. He turned round at the sound of the door opening. My eyes shot to the floor.

'Sorry, I…' I mumbled blushing.

'It's fine.' He said with a small laugh, pulling a towel around his waist. I realized that even though we have been dating for nearly a year, we hadn't really done, it, yet.

'I love your hair.' He said walking towards me.

'Thanks.' I said, absentmindedly running my fingers through my fringe.

He smiled, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I grinned at him.

'I've missed you.' He said. I frowned.

'I've never been away?' I said, confused.

'I've missed just being with you, not with the band, not stressed out, just you and me, together.' He said. I knew what he meant and I missed it to.

'Yeah, I know what you mean.' I said

'We have a day of tomorrow, why don't we take off, we could spend the day away, stay in a hotel for a night or something?' he said

'That would be amazing.' I said, smiling at just the thought.

'Well let's do it then.' He said

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I grinned as me and Jack walked around an old second hand music shop. I pulled out an old Iron Maiden record. Records were so much cooler than CD's. We were in a tiny village not far from Florida, we were going to spent the night here then meet the guys back on tour tomorrow.

'Ronnie, do you think it would be weird if I bought my own CD?' Jack said as he pulled a copy of Put Up or Shut Up of a shelf.

The girl at the counter looked up at us, she had blue eyes, black choppy hair and a nose piercing. I laughed and walked over to where he had got the CD from, I pulled out a copy of Careful.

'I will if you will.' I said challenging him, we both bought a copy of our own CD's. I kneeled on the ground and started to look through the posters. I smiled as I past an Escape the Fate one.

'I really should talk to Ronnie again. I really want the bands to do a song together' I said to Jack

'Yeah, you guys were awesome at Warped.' He said looking at the poster, crouching down next to me, the girl looked at us again her jaw dropped.

'You know Escape the Fate?' she said at us in awe.

'Yeah.' I replied 'We were at Warped with them.' I said grinning at the girl

'You performed at Warped tour?' she said staring at us

'yup,' said Jack smiling

'I'm Ronnie and this is Jack by the way.' I added

'I'm Alica.' She said 'So are you in bands?'

'Yeah Jacks plays guitar in All Time Low and I sing for Broken Hopes.' I said

'Ah yeah, Ronnie tweeted about you guys! I meant to check you out but I never got round to it.' She said

Jack stood up and I followed, the blood suddenly rushed to my head and I blacked out. I felt someone catch me and then the ground under my skin. I knew I hadn't eaten breakfast today, I hadn't eaten since that chocolate bar before the show last night.


	12. lol, it was awkward to write this

My eyes slid open, I was staring at the ceiling. Jack and Alicia were sitting on the ground, looking down at me, there were a few people standing behind them.

'Are you okay?' said Jack

'I'm fine, just a head rush.' I said sitting up clutching my now aching head. Jack shot me a look, I nodded and we silently agreed that I needed to eat something soon.

'Can you stand?' said Alicia, holding out her hand. I took it and they pulled me too my feet.

'Are you sure you're okay?' she added

'Yeah, I just stood up to fast.' I said smiling weakly.

XXXXXXX

I stared at the food in front of me. I started to eat a few fries from the plate. I felt the guilt filling inside me, it was the worst feeling ever. I quickly finished them not wanting to cause a fuss. I wasn't eating anymore. I slouched in my chair, Jack smiled weakly at me.

'That's a start.' He said

'I booked a time with my therapist' I added 'for when we come back from tour.'

He nodded 'Okay, you want me to come with you?'

'You can if you want.' I said

'I want.' He stated

I leaned across the table and kissed him. Our relationship had been way too strained lately. I had tonight planned, it was going to be our first time.

We spent the rest of the day laughing and talking, walking around the town. We arrived back at the hotel a while later. We went up to our room and I looked around, it was quite a nice place.

'I'm going in the shower.' Jack called heading into the bathroom.

I walked over to the double bed and pulled open a drawer at the bedside table. It was filled with condoms. I laughed, they were going to come in handy. I knew what I was going to do, I shut the curtains and pulled off my clothes. I had deliberately worn my sexiest underwear. I quickly added more makeup and then jumped on the bed, trying to sit in a hot pose. I heard the water in the bathroom turn off, a moment later Jack came out. He was wearing a shirt, with his jeans on and his hair was damp.

'Hey, Ronnie….' he turned around and saw me, a playful grin emerged on his face. 'Well hello there.'

I smiled at him mischievously. He walked over to the bed, kneeled on the end and crawled up so his face was an inch from mine. I leaned forward and started to kiss him, softly at first but then it grew more deep and filled with lust. Soon we were making out, he pushed me down on to the bed so he was on top of me. After a couple of minutes I unbuttoned a few of his shirt buttons, Before pulling them all open. He pulled back, grinned at me and pulled of his shirt quickly, before crashing his lips to mine again. He started to kiss my neck and a moan of pleasure escaped my lips. He looked up at me grinning, I bit down on my bottom lip, blushing. He crawled back up and started to kiss me again. I couldn't take it any longer and I unbuttoned his jeans, which he happily pulled off. I pushed my tongue against his bottom lip, I felt his slip into my mouth. I snaked my arms around him, catching the strap of his boxers. He smiled.

'You sure?' he said

'Yes, I want you Jack.' I mumbled to him.

He smiled and pulled of his boxers, I pulled of my underwear and he unhooked my bra. I reached over to the bed side table and opened the drawer, he smiled and pulled one out. He positioned himself at my entrance before slipping in, it hurt slightly but the pleasure over ruled it. He started to thrust in and out, slowly at first but then harder. He let of a quiet moan, I moaned loader and he grinned at me. It was a few minutes later and I knew I was close, and so was he.

'Ronnie.' He groaned, before he filled up inside me. I loved the way he said my name.

He slid of me and lay down on the bed next to me, out of breath. I lay on my side and looked at him.

'I love you Jack.' I whispered to him

'I love you too Ron. You are my only one.' He said and wrapped his arms around me, I lay against him and we fell asleep in each other's arms.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I opened my eyes and I saw Jack lying asleep next to me. I carefully removed his arm from around me and reached over to my phone on the table to check the time. I looked at my phone, 11:30 it read. I had a text from Alex. I opened it.

_So, did you get some? ;) _

I smiled at the text. I pressed reply and typed out.

_Maybe….._

I dropped my phone back on the bedside table and headed for the bathroom. I had a quick shower singing to myself quietly and then got back out the shower. I was starting to feel slightly hungry but I didn't want to eat. I got changed and headed back out into the hotel room. Jack was still asleep. I smiled at him and walked over to the bed. I crouched down and kissed his fore head. His eyes opened and he smiled at me.

'You are the most beautiful person ever Ronnie.' He said, I laughed.

'Okay? It's nice to see you too, are you ok?' I said laughing

'I'm fine, I just love you. I never thought I could love someone this much. I mean I always thought that love never lasted, I grew up with my parents but I don't think I could ever not love you.' He said

I grinned at him and felt a fat tear roll down my cheek. I laughed wiping it off my face, I was being silly. I leaned over and kissed him.

'I love you too.' I whispered to him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

We sat waiting for the tour bus to show up, it was about 2 in the afternoon and the guys should be here any second. We were going to New York for the last show of the tour. I was completely stoked for it, it was the finale and I was getting better at performing every show. My phone buzzed from inside my pocket, I pulled it out and saw a text from Alex.

_They grow up so fast :'( hah, we are running slightly late, we will be there soon though _

'They're late.' I said, laughing.

'Should have known.' Jack said laughing with me. My phone started to ring, it was our manager Tony. He had skipped this tour to organize a load of stuff for the band when we got back.

'Hey Tony Tiger!' I said to him, it was a nickname we had given him. The band had got slightly drunk a while ago and had, don't laugh, a roaring completion. Long story short we were convinced he was related to the tiger from the cereal commercials. He laughed from the other end of the phone.

'Hey Ron.' He said 'Guess what?'

'You finally hit puberty?' I said, Jack laughed.

'Bitch.' He said, we had a really laid back relationship with our manager. He was a long term friend of ours.

'Sorry Tony, what is it?' I said

'I booked you guys on a worldwide headlining tour.' He said

'Oh my god!' I squealed 'are you serious?'

'yes, and I booked you guys with a few interviews as well.' He said

'That's awesome Tony! Who's the best manager ever?'

'Me!' he said

'No.' I replied 'I think Matt is.' I said

'Gee, thanks!' he said sarcastically

'I'm kidding! Thanks so much, you rock Tony!' I said

'No problem Ron, I'll see you guys in a couple of days' he said.

'Later!' I said hanging up the phone.

The tour bus pulled into the car park.

'Finally!' I laughed, as it pulled up in front of me. The front door burst open, Alex stood in the door way.

'Well hello there, Lover birds!' he said, stepping out the way as we climbed onto the bus.

The band were in Hammered, Andy was sitting with his acoustic guitar, Jake with his electric and Ash with her bass. JJ was sitting cross-legged on the kitchen counter tapping a beat on the table. I smiled at my friends and sat down next to Ash.

'What are you guys doing?' I asked

'Working on this awesome song that JJ thought of yesterday,' said Jake

'Cool, can I hear it?' I asked, he nodded and they started to play. It was quite a slow song, it was kind of harder than anything else we had written but I liked it. I started to think of a couple of lyrics that would fit on top of the song. Once they were done I smiled at them.

'It's great.' I said smiling.

I ran down to my bunk and grabbed my book from under my pillow. I went back to hammered and flopped back down next to Ash.

'Could you guys play it again?' I said, they played and I wrote lyrics as they did. Thinking of my disorder and how I would hide it and how I thought I wanted to be perfect like all those woman in the magazines.

**Note: PLEASE READ THE LYRICS, THEY ARE SO TOUCHING AND IT'S SUCH A SAD SONG. GO CHECK OUT THE ORIGINAL BY EVANESCENCE.**

_Perfect by nature, Icons of self-indulgence .Just what we all need, more lies about a world that never was and never will be.  
>Have you no shame? Don't you see me? You know you've got everybody fooled<em>

_Look here she comes now, Bow down and stare in wonder. Oh how we love you, no flaws when you're pretending But now I know she_

_Never was and never will be  
>You don't know how you've betrayed me, And somehow you've got everybody fooled<em>

_Without the mask, where will you hide? Can't find yourself lost in your lie_

_I know the truth now, I know who you are  
>And I don't love you anymore<em>

_It Never was and never will be, You don't know how you've betrayed me  
>And somehow you've got everybody fooled<em>

_It never was and never will be, You're not real and you can't save me  
>Somehow now you're everybody's fool<em>

I held in the tears when I had finished, all of a sudden this song was everything to me.

'I think I've got the lyrics figured out.' I said after several hours of playing and writing.

'Let's play it one more time all the way through, with the lyrics.' Jake said, at this moment All Time Low wandered back into hammered. I started to sing the song. It was so close to me, perfect and at that moment I knew I was going to put everything I had into getting better.

4 years later

I was awoken in the middle of the night by our front door slamming, Jacks eyes slid open next to me. He pressed one finger to him lips and headed to the door of our bedroom.

'Fuck off!' I heard a girls voice scream, Jack opened the door and walked out into the hallway. I sat in the bed listening carefully for any noise. When I didn't hear anything I headed into the hall.

'Jack, who is it?' I said, I saw him sitting on the floor at the door with an arm around Hailey. She was crying.

**READ MY FIRST STORY SNAKE BITE HEART TO KNOW THE REST ;) and review for this is my longest chapter ever.**


End file.
